Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Randomize
