He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
