Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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