I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
