even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
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