sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
