He is such a slut. More and more my type.
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
Randomize
