so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
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