Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Randomize
