I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
