i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
You dont lie about slip and slides
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
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