My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
Randomize
