just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
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