if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Randomize
