Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
Randomize
