so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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