This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Randomize
