if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
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