this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
she pinky promised me she was 18
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
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