I cockslap morals
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
He had one of those small greek statue penises
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
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