New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
