Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
