i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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