I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
i think my cat just said my name.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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