it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
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