I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
