Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
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doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
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I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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