sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
