my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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