she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
i believe in u and ur pee
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize
