I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
