the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
