If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
I'm always down for nudity.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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