Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
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