Don't you send me to vm
you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Threesome in a minivan. New low
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
