its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
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