i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize
