So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
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