We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
