oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Randomize
