well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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