it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
