She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
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