he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
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i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
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U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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