I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
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