so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize
