these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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