she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
Randomize
