I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
