take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Panties = found
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
