16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Someone came in the potted fern
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
