I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
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