I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
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