Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Randomize
