I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
