Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
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