That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
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We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
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Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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