Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
Randomize
