It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
She bit a glass in half.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Randomize
