I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
I wear drunk well.
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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