i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
Randomize
